Anger, Power, and the Path to Self-Compassion

Anger, Power, and the Path to Self-Compassion

As women, we’re often taught—explicitly or subtly—that our anger isn’t welcome. That our emotions, especially the intense or uncomfortable ones, are signs that we’re out of control or “too much.” If we speak up, we’re labeled difficult. If we cry, we’re seen as fragile. If we express frustration or anger, we’re told we’re emotional or can’t handle the pressure.

But here’s the truth: Anger is a valid, natural response.

Anger is not the problem. In fact, when channeled consciously, anger can be clarifying, energizing, and deeply protective. It shows us when a boundary has been crossed. It wakes us up to injustice. It tells us something needs to change. And ignoring it—or shaming ourselves for feeling it—only pushes it deeper, where it festers as stress, self-doubt, or even illness.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about this a lot. Especially after watching The Handmaid’s Tale.

Yes, it’s a dystopian drama. And yes, the acting and storytelling are powerful. But honestly? It also made me angry.

Why? Because it doesn’t feel like fiction. Not really.

The idea of women being stripped of autonomy—of losing the right to control their own bodies, their money, their futures—feels eerily close to real-life headlines. From reproductive rights being rolled back, to women in some states needing permission for basic health care, to the daily microaggressions we experience in workplaces and communities, we’re reminded again and again: our freedom is still conditional. And our anger? Often dismissed.

But instead of silencing that anger, what if we listened to it?

What if we treated it as a signpost—not of weakness or emotional instability—but of wisdom, power, and deep care?

This is where self-compassion comes in.

Self-compassion doesn’t mean brushing away your emotions or pretending everything is fine. It means meeting yourself with care, because things are hard. It means recognizing your pain or anger as valid—then responding with the same tenderness you’d offer a dear friend.

It also means letting yourself be human in a world that expects perfection.

Here’s a practice I invite you to try this week:

1. Think of a time when you were angry. Maybe it was a news story. A conversation. A memory.

2. Notice what your inner voice said. Did it criticize you for being too sensitive? Did it tell you to push through or calm down?

3. Now flip the script. What would you say to a friend in that moment? What would your tone be? Your posture? Your energy?

4. Take a breath and offer that kindness to yourself. Place your hand over your heart or belly. Speak gently. Breathe. Let yourself feel what you feel without shame.

Anger is not the enemy. Self-compassion is not weakness. And giving yourself permission to feel—and heal—is a radical act of reclaiming your power.

So if you’ve been carrying frustration, rage, exhaustion, or that low hum of burnout, know this: You are not alone.

We live in a culture that often asks women to stay small, quiet, and agreeable. But you are allowed to take up space. You are allowed to speak up. You are allowed to feel anger and still be soft. Still be whole.

That’s the paradox of healing—it isn’t about always being calm or cheerful. It’s about being real. Honest. Present. And fiercely kind to yourself through it all.

You are enough. Your emotions are valid. And your voice matters.

With compassion and solidarity,
Sandra
Nurse Coach | Rise Through Becoming Lifestyle Coaching
risethroughbecominglifestylecoaching.com

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