Why Don’t We Learn About Early Perimenopause in Our GYN Office?

Picture this: you’re sitting in your GYN’s office for your annual exam. You’ve survived the paper gown, endured the awkward small talk, and you’re ready to bolt the minute they say, “All looks good!” Then it happens—you muster up the courage to ask about why your sleep is suddenly a circus act or why your period has decided to go rogue.

Cue the blank stare.

It’s not your imagination—most of us never hear the word perimenopause from our providers until we’re already knee-deep in it. Which is wild, considering that early perimenopause often starts in our mid-to-late 30s. Yep. Right around the time we finally figure out what kind of jeans actually fit us.

So, why the silence? Let’s dig in.

The Elephant in the Exam Room

Here are a few reasons perimenopause doesn’t come up when you’re staring at that crinkly exam table paper:

1. Medical training still thinks the story ends after babies.
   Most of women’s health is taught around periods, birth control, and pregnancy. Once you’re done with that chapter, it’s like, “Great! See you at menopause!” But what about the 10+ years in between? Crickets.

2. The symptoms are sneaky.
   A shorter cycle? A heavier flow? Waking up at 3 a.m. wide-eyed for no reason? These changes are easy to chalk up to stress, work, kids, or—let’s be honest—too much cold brew.

3. We don’t love talking about aging.
   Society would rather sell us wrinkle cream than talk about hormone shifts. So, instead of empowering us, the conversation gets brushed under the rug like last year’s Halloween candy.

Why Start Talking in Our 30s?

Because that’s when things start shifting behind the scenes—even if your body hasn’t sent you a strongly worded memo yet. By your mid-30s, your ovaries are quietly adjusting hormone production. Translation: you may start noticing mood swings, sleep disruptions, or weird period changes.

And here’s the kicker: early awareness makes the whole ride smoother.

• If you know what to expect, you’re less likely to freak out at your first surprise hot flash.

• Lifestyle habits (like sleep, nutrition, and stress management) pack more punch when you start them earlier. Think of it as training for the marathon before the starting gun goes off.

• You get to advocate for yourself at the doctor’s office instead of playing medical detective with Dr. Google at midnight.

Questions Worth Asking Your GYN

Even if they don’t bring it up, you can. Try slipping one of these into your next visit (preferably before they’re halfway out the door):

• “What should I know about early perimenopause at my age?”

• “If my cycles start to change, what should I track?”

• “Could sleep problems or anxiety be related to shifting hormones?”

• “What lifestyle steps help ease the transition?”

If your provider hesitates, don’t panic. The system hasn’t caught up yet. But by asking, you’re planting seeds—because the more we ask, the harder it is to keep ignoring this conversation.

Signs of Early Perimenopause (a.k.a. It’s Not Just You)

• Periods showing up like an unreliable friend—early, late, heavy, light.

• Mood swings that make you feel like you’ve joined an emotional rollercoaster.

• Night sweats (bonus points if they happen right before a big meeting).

• Waking up at 3 a.m. wondering if you should start a podcast.

• A sudden intolerance for coffee, wine, or anything fun.

These aren’t random quirks. They’re signs your hormones are throwing a party and forgot to tell you.

Let’s Reclaim the Narrative

Here’s the good news: we don’t need to wait for the medical world to hand us a pamphlet. We can start the conversation with each other. With friends over coffee. With coworkers whispering in the breakroom. With sisters, mothers, daughters.

The more we talk about perimenopause, the less mysterious—and dare I say, less intimidating—it becomes.

So whether you’re in your 30s and just starting to notice changes, in your 40s riding the wave, or post-menopause reflecting back, your story matters. And sharing it helps every woman who’s silently thinking, “What on earth is happening to me?”

Your Homework (Don’t Worry—It’s Easy)

At your next appointment, ask your GYN one question about perimenopause. Just one. Consider it your subtle rebellion against silence. Then share what you learned—or didn’t learn—with a friend.

Because when we bring humor, honesty, and a little courage to this conversation, we’re not just helping ourselves. We’re changing the story for the next generation.

With compassion (and a wink),
Sandra
Board-Certified Nurse Coach | Rise Through Becoming Lifestyle Coaching

 www.risethroughbecominglifestylecoaching.com