With You in the Middle: A Letter to Women in Perimenopause

Dear Women in the Midst,

Perimenopause. The word alone often falls flat, tucked beneath whispers, brushed off as “just a phase,” or misunderstood entirely. But if you're reading this, chances are you know it’s far more than that. It’s a whole-body, whole-life experience that can shake you to your core—and it deserves more space, more voice, and much more compassion.

Perimenopause is not just about hot flashes or irregular periods. It's the quiet unraveling of things that once felt stable: your sleep, your energy, your patience, your body, your memory, your mood. It's waking up drenched in sweat and lying there wondering who this stranger in your skin has become. It’s a foggy brain in a high-pressure job. It’s crying at a commercial, snapping at loved ones, and questioning whether you’re "losing it." It’s the hidden grief of shifting identity—of becoming invisible in a culture obsessed with youth and productivity.

And yet, so many of us go through this in silence.

We are expected to carry on as if nothing is changing. To show up for our families, our careers, our communities with grace, energy, and drive—while navigating hormone chaos, sleep deprivation, and emotional overwhelm. And because no one really talks about it, we question ourselves. We wonder, Is it just me? Am I doing something wrong?

You are not alone. And you are not doing anything wrong.

Perimenopause is a natural transition, not a disease. But our systems—healthcare, workplace, culture—haven’t caught up to that truth. Too often, women are dismissed when they seek help. Told “your labs are normal,” “you’re just stressed,” or worse, “this is just what happens at your age.” That dismissal hurts. It erodes confidence. It keeps us from advocating for ourselves. It reinforces shame and invisibility.

But here’s the truth: you deserve better. You deserve to be seen, heard, and supported.

We need providers who listen—not just to our symptoms, but to our stories. We need more research, more education, and more open conversations about perimenopause so women can recognize what’s happening in their bodies and feel empowered to act. We need safe spaces where we can talk about changing libido, vaginal dryness, weight fluctuations, anxiety, and loss of identity—without judgment or shame.

There are things we can do to ease this transition, but they start with awareness and self-compassion. Nutrition, movement, rest, connection, hormone therapy, herbs, mindset work, and yes, even saying “no” more often—these are tools. But the most powerful medicine of all is validation: being told you’re not imagining this, you’re not broken, and you’re still you.

So to every woman navigating this season—whether you’re confused, exhausted, angry, or simply curious—I want to say: I see you. I hear you. And I honor what you’re carrying.

You don’t have to tough this out alone. Let’s change the narrative. Let’s normalize asking for help. Let’s build communities where women can share their truths and walk each other home through this messy, beautiful middle of life.

Perimenopause may shake our foundation, but it can also awaken us. It can strip away old stories and make space for deeper wisdom. There is strength in vulnerability, and power in telling the truth of your experience.

So let’s speak up. Let’s redefine what midlife looks and feels like. Let’s support one another, not just with tips and tricks, but with honest conversation, presence, and compassion.

Because when one woman rises with grace and clarity in this season, she gives every other woman permission to do the same.

With fierce grace and solidarity,
Sandra
Rise Through Becoming Lifestyle Coaching, LLC